A good friend lost her baby, Hurricane Charley hammered Florida, and then yesterday, we had to put my Filix cat to sleep. As expected, I am very sad, with a massive hole in my heart.
Filix (named after the final approach fix at Gaithersburg Airport) was chosen by my daughter as an addition to our family in 1999. He was an 8 month old kitten at the time, and almost immediately we found that he had difficulties. He was diagnosed with Inflammatory Bowel Disease and various other immune disorders. His breeder didn't seem to care, and just wanted to know if we wanted to "exchange it." How could anyone send an animal back to someone like that? He was put on a special diet, and medications.
Filix was a very intelligent cat who amazed us with his brains and methods of communication. Whenever something was not quite right, Filix would come over to us, sit down squarely in front of us, and MEOWL until we paid attention. It was usually something like a door being left over, or Spot getting locked in the bird room. He and Spot were very close, and usually slept together in their little cat bed. His fur was softer than any cat's I ever had. He loved vanilla ice cream, and would demand it when he wanted it.
When Spot died, Filix was devastated. He went into a physical tail spin that he did not recover from, despite very strong medications including chemotherapy drugs. He would spend days not eating, and losing weight to the point where yesterday he weighed 4 pounds. I fed him with a spoon, trying desperately to keep him eating. We gave him fluids by needle, B12 shots, force fed him ensure, and begged him to eat anything at all. He gave up a few days ago and totally refused to eat even tuna, salmon, beef, pork, or anything else. It was clear that he took no pleasure in most of anything, and I didn't have the heart to force him anymore. Rather than let him starve to death "naturally," we made the decision to help him along. It was done yesterday afternoon. I couldn't attend because it was too painful.
Wes brought his tiny body home, and we buried him near his best friend, Spot. I cut his thread and lit a green candle at the head of his grave and said goodbye. I have a pillar candle burning as long as it lasts to light his way, although I feel he's already gone to his reward and/or his next incarnation. I miss him terribly.