Fear in the Republican Party
Republicans everywhere are running for cover since Dick Cheney found himself delusional, believing them all to be Quayles. After this weekend's bagging of a Pseudo Quayle attorney in Texas, Cheney escaped his Secret Service trained minders and made his way to the hospital to finish off his quarry, but was thwarted in his attempt by PETA activists bashing him about the head and shoulders with rubber chickens. "I have never seen such fowl carnage," one doctor was reported as saying.
The Secret Service remains mum, obviously embarrassed by their charge finding a way to escape their clutches, taking his shotgun and hiding in an undisclosed location called Mt. Canary. Thankfully, no Republicans, Quayles or otherwise, are reported to live in that location.
An emergency meeting of NRA firearms instructors unanimously voted Vice President Cheney as "Most Likely To Need Remedial Training." No word on whether that is because he shot his friend, or because he didn't aim well.