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My Name

When I was born, I was given a name. Over the years, I learned how to spell and write that name. Despite any difficulties in the complexity of that name, I eventually learned it and it became as much a part of me as my toes, or my nose. When I decided to marry, I married the man involved, but did not become his property, or change my identity by doing so. I do not have a "maiden name" as I do not draw some mystical line based the highly outdated impression that I became "non virginal" only after I got married. If other women choose to take their husband's last name, that is, of course, their choice. Some families I know have chosen a completely different name that both man and woman adopted after marriage. Whatever works.

So, imagine how I feel when my entire husband's family not only has given me his last name, but his first name and middle initial, after putting a big ass MRS. in front of it. I'm not quite sure which I find more offensive, someone making an assumption about something as highly personal as my name, or someone assuming that I am now defined SOLELY as an appendage of my husband, tacking essentially a "property of" sticker on my forehead. Him and Mrs. Him.

I've asked him to inform his family that neither my name nor my being has changed, but year after year I continue to get holiday cards addressed to Mr and Mrs. Him. So I guess this year I get to let them know myself in my own happy way.

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